Raise a glass to mend the broken hearts of all my wrecked up friends

Yesterday, I almost went to Taguig without even taking a bath. Guess how the fuck did that happen.

Okay. So I was at Shaw, outside my building, waiting for a cab because I'm going back to my dorm in Katip. When I found one, the driver told me he's just a new driver and not that familiar with roads yet (and I was thinking same old bullshit) so if I can just tell him the directions, it'll be alright. But being the geographically challenged person that I am, well you know the story. I was actually on the brink of texting my friends in case you know, but the driver actually had a good heart. He told me to just pay how much is it that I usually pay from Shaw to Katip so I saved P50. Bless you new cab driver!

Anyways, I was supposed to "wrap" my January up but I realized, I'm super tired and bored and (insert synonyms here) of talking about how much I need to change right now and it's srsly exhausting to finish this sentence.

There's only one thing to do, three words for you. There's only one way to say those three words and that's what I'll do..

The love month is coming in less than 12 hours. Brace yourself. This'll be another socially-constructed-but-equally-self-destructive period of our lives. Yeah. Right.

Are you patient, understanding? 'Cause I might need some time to clear the hole in my heart

Guess who wants to go home to Subic like as in right now?

When I was still on vacation last holidays, I've always thought that I won't want to go home until it's time for another break given that my life here is, well, awesome. But after spending so much than I should, making the stupidest decisions ever, repeating the same mistakes, cutting some (okay maybe a lot) of classes, not reviewing for exams, and not passing requirements on time, I realized I need my momma to give me a big slap on the face to lecture me, to give me back a sense of what's wrong and what's right, and to just say that everything will actually, really, be alright.

You should know that while I was writing those last words above, I was a) thinking before writing for the first time (or not) b) not really feeling the words much c) (but) aware that they're actually, really true.

So this is the week that I will actually, really turn my life around. You should know though that I still don't think that I was "lost" or anything. It's just that I feel like I'm going broke, I'm hungry all the time, and I have deadlines to reach. FML

As I was saying, this is the week that I will actually, really turn my life around. I will attend all my classes and yes that includes Econ, I will pass requirements on time, I will handle my org responsibilities better, and I won't even go out on a school night. Who knows? Maybe I won't even drink this week. Yeah, right.

Oh sweetheart put the bottle down 'Cause you don't wanna miss out

You're our best bet. You or no one.

...and if this one was any other lifetime, I probably said yes. But right now, this is me and I can't give anything up in my life for that. It's much of a responsibility and I don't like the pressure. I can be the greatest pessimist and I hate losing. I never thought I'd ever be thinking about making a decision like this, ever, in my entire college life. Honestly though, It's pretty amazing to know that some people actually believe in me. I'd always be here, willing to help, but not in the way that you want me to.

This opportunity could actually probably straighten my life out and give me structure but it's still fuckin' politics. I'm in college. I'm young. I can always retake a class but I can never outlive a party. Whut? NAAAAT.

Accept the opportunity. If you lose, well, you never really wanted it in the first place. If you win, appoint someone to do all the dirty stuff for you then we can still drink every week, all night. LOLOLOLOL

And on other things, more interesting things (or not), I've been gone for so long! When Jessan asked me last night through Facebook why I haven't been updating, I honestly can't think of any reason other than I was really lazy. Remember that paper that I was supposed to pass during the first week? Well I still haven't gotten it done. As to when am I gonna finish, I have no idea.

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze, and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go
Can't do it alone
I've tried, but I don't know why

I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down
I know, I've got to let it go

Nobody knows the way it's gonna be

Okay. So this is like the first time ever that I'm gonna be writing two posts in one day. Although technically, the first one is yesterday's already. Labo. But I'm sorta kinda ya knowz expecting (more of hoping actually) to be on an internet hiatus this weekend 'til Wednesday so yeah.

I'm actually really very sleepy right now. But I don't want to sleep yet because I want to punish myself. I'm not going to be able to pass a major paper for my Sociology of Religion class tomorrow morning because I'm not done with it yet. I still have three chapters to read, five to summarize, and handouts of theories to analyze. Boring. And to think I actually didn't go to school today just so I could finish it. And I just realized that I didn't pass anything required this week. Ugh, I hate that I brought myself in a situation like this. I feel like such a delinquent and I'm just starting to feel bad for that.

I'm just thinking about the fact that my professor won't minus points naman daw if I pass next week. He'll just have higher standards. FML

My head is aching because of thinking. LOL I'll just edit this when something worth writing comes into my mind. I'll just leave you with something worth commenting about. Haha

And this is exactly why I'm not a big fan of growing old.

Running through my mind all day

OMAAAAYGAAAASH!

I just got a call from Summit Media. They told me that there's an open internship position for the magazine Entrepreneur and they asked whether I wanted to apply. I then asked when this job would require me to start and she said this month. So I said no. Because I have school. And then I said I'll just hope there'll be an opening on summer.

Please tell me I made the right decision. Please, please.

She wanna have whatever she likes and she can if she brings her friends

If you are my tumblr friend, you would know that one of my new year's resolutions is to not drink on a school night anymore. Well, I'm just glad it actually took me five days to break that resolution. But come to think of it, today is actually our first day back. So technically.. oh well, never mind. I have a new new year's resolution! I changed the former to "I will not drink ng consecutive nights anymore."

But you can't actually blame me, you know. I only had one drinking night during the break. So FML. (Now everyobody probably thinks I'm some sort of a drunkard who can't live without the substance. LOL NAAAAT)

I just realized that I forgot to write about some of my special experiences with my year-end post. And since I actually want the world wide web to know about these, I will write about them. I don't know why either.

• lost half of the pair of my favorite Havs :(
• threw a debut party for my 18th
• rode a banana boat with crazy friends
  
• outed myself to all most of my crushes LOL
• slept at a friend's garden
• slept at a friend's then boyfriend's condo whom I just met that night

Okay. I srsly want to delete everything that I just wrote in that list. But I won't. For the love of the truth. I honestly can't think of the other things that I originally wanted to write in here. So maybe next time.

I can't seem to find somebody to love Is there somebody who still believes in love

For you I gave my heart and turn my back against the world..

LOL Anyone who's reading this post would probably think that I am a) in love b) on the edge of falling in love or (if you've been reading my older blogs) c) playing random stuff on my itunes.

Anyways..
Tomorrow I go back to reality; anyone wanna come with? Or can you people like face it for me? Haha

Going back to Katipunan is both a good and a bad thing for me. Good because I get my old (and at some level, real) life back! Freedom and independence, I missed you my babies. And of course, I missed my crazier than the crazy bus friends too. But it's also a bad thing because, yes, reality means I have to actually go to school and do boring, erm I mean, school stuff again. Which isn't supposed to be a bad thing since in the first place, I go to the Metro to study. WTF

Professors left a bunch of stuff to do for the break and I have to cram all of it this week. At least I actually got some rest and had a nice vacation. Nat.

Oh well. I just can't really wait to say THANK GOD IS FRIDAY.

I fucked my links up so they're gone now but I swear I'm putting them back.. ASAP.
Oh btw, you can follow me at http://erikasila.tumblr.com :)