Oh sweetheart put the bottle down 'Cause you don't wanna miss out

You're our best bet. You or no one.

...and if this one was any other lifetime, I probably said yes. But right now, this is me and I can't give anything up in my life for that. It's much of a responsibility and I don't like the pressure. I can be the greatest pessimist and I hate losing. I never thought I'd ever be thinking about making a decision like this, ever, in my entire college life. Honestly though, It's pretty amazing to know that some people actually believe in me. I'd always be here, willing to help, but not in the way that you want me to.

This opportunity could actually probably straighten my life out and give me structure but it's still fuckin' politics. I'm in college. I'm young. I can always retake a class but I can never outlive a party. Whut? NAAAAT.

Accept the opportunity. If you lose, well, you never really wanted it in the first place. If you win, appoint someone to do all the dirty stuff for you then we can still drink every week, all night. LOLOLOLOL

And on other things, more interesting things (or not), I've been gone for so long! When Jessan asked me last night through Facebook why I haven't been updating, I honestly can't think of any reason other than I was really lazy. Remember that paper that I was supposed to pass during the first week? Well I still haven't gotten it done. As to when am I gonna finish, I have no idea.

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze, and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go
Can't do it alone
I've tried, but I don't know why

I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down
I know, I've got to let it go

Tell me what you want What you really really want

Because I always get what I want. I'm a brat like that.

If I tell you that last night, I went to a house party with my high school friends and we drank and played 'til the wee hours in the morning, that would be, well, boring. But if I tell you that at around 12:30 AM, minutes after we just got back from a Manila trip with my cousins, I told my mom that I'm going to a friend's house because we're having a batch party, and after loads of pleading and listening to sexist comments (i.e. hindi yan gawain ng babae), my yes-I'm-a-little-sober-now friends picked me up, then that may be a little more interesting.

Or not. Okay, I just got bored telling my own story. Now I don't know what to say anymore. Haha Alright, I'll just cut this short. Again. LOL

HAPPY NEW YEAR LOVES!
2009 was indeed epic but I know we can make 2010 even greater and crazier.

I was thinking, I won't leave my room 'til its time for mass and its 2010 already but well, my mom would kill me.

I got to be unstoppable Ay ay ay ay You don't like

In 2009, did you..

• kiss a gay friend (in his attempt to actually teach you, well, moves)?
• feel like you're one with music in a jamming session with a local 'indigenous' band?
• eat loads of chocolate bars and drink milk just so you could sober up and study?
• attend a debut party but it started late and you already have something planned for the night so you had to leave even before the party started?
• see a friend cry all of a sudden because of.. never mind?
• bond with orphanage kids and let them use your camera until it's full of chocolate and greasy?
• celebrate your actual birthday by playing rockband and eating loads of fastfood?
• pass out for the first time in your life ever?
• wake up with your own puke as your pillow and no memory of the night that passed?
• worry about failing NSTP?
• meet new people and have, umm, great (and not-so-great) moments with them while your systems are loaded with alcohol?
• ask a guy out and then during the date itself you ambushed him into going to a friend's house party?
• drink too much for two consecutive days with two different groups of friends that you were actually sober for the whole summer?
• make loads of music videos with your girl friends while they were cramming for a report the next day after a party you just attended?
• dance your heart out in a stage you've always been familiar with?
• actually let yourself be a pellet of capitalism and forget about what you know about the system which sucks big time?
• receive your first hard-earned cash of P800?
• kiss your long time and forever girl friend on the lip just because?
• meet the alumni of your beloved org and from their experiences, you realized that you may have a future after all?
• attend a grand clan reunion and had one of the best days/nights of your year?
• party the eve of Ondoy's wrath not knowing that there was actually a coming storm?
• struggle to go home while Ondoy is flooding the streets of Cubao, Katipunan, and everywhere else?
• miss your high school barkada too much?
• have too much alcohol on an org event that you can't show your face to the world since it's so red?
• watch Katy Perry's concert and see her a meter away from you partying at Encore?
• try to escape reality?
• have a shirt with your name made for you?
• pass out again after months of not passing out while you're with a great group of guys and girls?
• play along the Blue Bridge with your friends which made the security guard think that you were actually being robbed or something?
• spend an afternoon with street kids?
• have three epic nights with the most fun people you've ever known?
• spend a morning with patients of NCMH?
• ride a car with 13 people in it?
• tell someone you're not going home until he comes with you?
• eat a balut's sisiw twice?
• walk for your department during the lantern parade?
• eat a lot you didn't care if your clothes would still fit you?
• try to lose weight the easy way?

OH WAIT.. THAT WAS MY 2009. I srsly didn't think this post would be this long so my sincerest apologies. Isn't it ironic that I'm starting this blog with a year-end post? LOL Be ready for me 2010. Because I'm gonna make you bigger, crazier, and a whole lot better. Happy holidays everyone!

I miss the times when happiness meant trampoline, giant slides, and colorful balls.